"Go Ahead, Make A Pig Of Yourself" Friends who have dared to visit my blog, as well as let me know they have visited, are now calling me the porn piggy.

I'd be insulted, if it weren't true.

It's not that I'm watching more porn. But I am talking about it more. (Including sending links to this blog to friends, which has resulted in more porn talk than ever before in our group!)

I'm not ashamed of my enjoyment of porn, nor ashamed of my enjoyment of poking fun at porn, and so, as a tribute to all my pals who say "Go Ahead, Make A Pig Of Yourself", I give you the following:

A cute blow up pig sex doll.


I will now buy this piggy butt plug, and literally make a pig of myself.

And I remind you all, that it could be worse. :p  ¶ 2:09 PM 0 comments   

  The Smoking Fetish Smoking fetish sites are now, well, smoking hot.

Presumably, this is motivated by the further forbidden nature of smoking. Tobacco is public enemy #1, or is it #2, after porn? Oh well, I'll leave the math to other bloggers, and get on with my thoughts of smoking hot porn.

As a smoker, I admit, I like the idea of a guy or a gal (as I am an equal opportunity attention whore), finding watching me smoke a sexual turn on.

After all, I enjoy the act of smoking, it pleases me, so why not a lover?

And when I'm smoking, I often have visions of ordering some boy-toy about, on a bad day, he's my human ashtray. But usually I just order him to make me dinner -- and to get me another carton, but whatever... it's arousing to me.

As long as I have been smoking, I've never blown smoke at my own tit. Nor at his cock during a blow job. I don't think he's let me near with a lit cig, but it's fantasy, so I'll play along.

Is it just me, or do brunettes seem to have the advantage here?


Dark hair seems to add to the allure for me. Very film noir. Very sophisticated. Smoking women can be seductive because their authoritative presence also communicates 'I am bored, so, you, boy toy, entertain me.' It's not quite domination, per se, but it's commanding.

Here's a blonde, who captures the sexy noir bit very well:



Now, all that said, I must say that once again: Sad little webmasters have leftover pink HTML that they feel they must use, and so they have to make teen sites. ARG

If smoking can be seen as a sophisticated turn-on, then all I can say is little teens in rose-colored HTML rooms smoking reeks of playing dress-up in mommie's things.

They don't look sophisticated, worldly or even experienced at holding a cig, let along touching themselves. I don't see the turn-on.

OK, that's not all I can say about teen smoking sites.

A) Your parents are going to kill you. Twice. Once for the porn, and again for smoking.

B) I hope these teens don't hurt themselves. Teens learning to smoke while nude... First a coughing fit, a dropped cigarette cherry, and that's going to leave a mark.

And one more thing -- this site boasts "Diana Loves Cigars.. And She Loves Smoking Them While She Fingers Her Tight Black Teen Pussy!"

You call that a cigar?

*snort*  ¶ 1:24 PM 0 comments   

  Getting My Mocks Off This is my blog, and I can mock if I want to, mock if I want to.

I happen to enjoy porn. Sometimes I enjoy mocking porn more than I get off on it, but it's entertainment nevertheless. And it's entertainment I choose.

But others see porn as a reason to cry, it's their party and they'll cry if they want to.

In The Porn Myth, Naomi Wolf writes:

But the effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as "porn-worthy." Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention.

I say pish-posh.

Yeah, sure, if you look long & hard enough, you'll find enough short & limp cock to suit your thesis. But porn isn't really to blame here at all. It's not even the generic media, with it's consistant message of sex and related standards of sex appeal. To blame 'porn' or 'the media' is to act as if they are organisms unto themselves. Porn and Media are not 'institutions' bereft of any human souls -- they are 'institutions' made of human beings (and if they are truly 'soul-less' then they are made of millions of soul-less humans). Porn & Media are simply groups of people employed in a specific economic endeavor.

By virtue of being businesses, they do not - cannot - exist in a vacuum, for businesses without customers do not last. If no man is an island, no institution exists unto itself. Porn & Media wouldn't exist if no one bought their product because without customers, who would pay the 'soul-less' their wages?

Porn exists because people want it.

We want it to get off. We want it to get our partners off. We want it to mock. But we want it.

What people want isn't always good for them. They may partake of too much. Like those who ingest too much sugar, swill too much liquor, or spend too much at the poker table. You can hurt yourself with too much of a good thing. Hell, even too much exercise can kill ya. There are alcoholics, workaholics, and blogaholics. Virtually anything can become an addiction. Even not-eating, anorexia, is a form of addiction in a way... Excess of anything isn't good. There are limits.

We don't limit the number of pies someone can order and eat -- or force folks to buy and eat pie. We don't do this because I can eat a lot more pie than you can, and not only not gain weight, but my cholesterol remains the same (yeah, I'm a bitch, aren't I). So we can't suppress pie consumption without oppressing people. Also, someone out there is allergic to pie, I just know it.

So, if we can't find the magic number of pies we must all consume, we can't put a limit on the number of pies we watch get pounded by cock.

The secret is diversification.

The wise investor never invests their entire savings in one company, no matter how much of a 'sure thing' it seems to be. You're not even to invest all in one area, say technology, for if that industry is hit, man, you're goin' down with it. You're to balance your portfolio like you're to balance your meals. Your portfolio must include a smattering of all the 'groups', including slow-growth stable things such as bonds -- like carrots on your dinner plate.

Porn, or rather sex, is the same way. You're not to build your entire life on a platform of porn. Healthy sexuality is about allowing yourself entertainment and pleasure, yes. But part of this is sex within the context of caring relationships -- you know, emotions, human connections. These are like the peas & carrots on your sex plate. Not to mention that with porn, you are literally missing the meat!

But if you aren't to exist sexually only on a diet of porn, neither are you to build your life on a foundation of fundamentalistic forbearance. If you personally are allergic to porn, I won't make you watch it. But you can't take away any of my pies, Boston Creme or Penile Cream Pie. Prohibiting porn, suppression, oppression, this, my friends, leads to repression -- or sexual rickets, if you will.

Remember, denial is a form of excess. And where there is excess, there is no balance.

And I don't know about you, but my sex requires balance.  ¶ 11:46 PM 0 comments   

  Get On Your Knees, Bitch On Your Knees Bitch, is not, as you might expect a sexist statement. Now, women order other women to do such things, for degradation is for everyone - as long as it is sexual, of course.

Back in the day, saying "On your knees, bitch" meant "Give me a blowjob, Hun" with lots of attitude, typically reserved for role play, and more oft than not, was a joke. And, as William Dean writes, "On your knees, bitch" is one of the many sex cliches, or as he puts it "Buzz Clips and Sexy Soundbites" which has lost its impact with repeated use.

Cliche or not, there now are many things to do on one's knees. In fact, now one can order oneself to their knees

For example, with Jenna Jameson's Ankle Band, a 'hot new sex toy' by Doc Johnson. With claims of creation by the "goddess of Porn herself", this ankle band attaches a dildo the backside of your own ankle, so that you can penetrate yourself while on your knees. Apparently, the ridges allow for more pleasure when you thrust your ankle back and forth.

Sounds like an excellent example for how to sprain your ankle, for the Karma Sutra is not meant for one to practice alone.

At the very least, all this sex on your knees may provide insight into knee pain risk factors:

"For reasons that aren't entirely clear, your sex may increase your risk of some types of knee injuries. Women are more prone to ACL tears than men are, and teenage girls are more likely than boys to experience a dislocated kneecap. Boys, on the other hand, are at greater risk of Osgood-Schlatter disease and patellar tendinitis than girls are."

Perhaps gender & sex roles have something to do with this. Doggie style, anal sex and the old on your knees to provide oral services may be more of a woman thing, thus more wear & tear on the ol' ACL. (Hmm, maybe those housewives of yesteryear didn't have those rubber mats for washing the floor after all...)

If knees are at risk, are they valued past their ability to position for performance? In other words, are knees sexy? Christians are unsure if it's appropriate for a Christian man to have his knees declared "Sex Symbols" for the world. In this case, upon seeing the photos, I do not know if it's appropriate or Christ-like, but question the appropriateness of the title in any fashion. If knees can be sexy, these are not the knees.

I can only guess that the folks who have registered SexyKnees.com must think that knees are sexy. At least sexy enough to make some cash, and cash is sexy enough to be the bee's knees. But then again, the site sits with no content. Perhaps knees are sexy, but only in conjunction with calf & thigh - for your usual leg lovers. Or maybe, knees are merely hot for the positions they can create - and the phraseology which they enable.  ¶ 7:59 PM 0 comments